


It Starts with a Bike Lock

by BastardSonOfDay (Diana_Raven)



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Gen, written to blow off creative steam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-12 23:53:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16005905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diana_Raven/pseuds/BastardSonOfDay
Summary: You accidentally chained your bike to mind and I can’t leave until you get back AU





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this to blow off creative stream but... now i grew attached

The first words Lucien Vanserra ever says to Rhysand Fitznox are “Hey Asshole!”

Rhysand knows Lucien Vanserra, the other man is a lackey of his worst enemy (though the two have never spoke before, only glared across the room at one another while Tamlin ranted), but he doesn’t know what in specific he’s done to incur Vanserra’s wrath. The man is sitting on the ground though his meeting with Rhysand’s Second ended quite a while ago (Rhysand is sure). He glares up at Rhys, his red hair braided professionally in dutch pigtails (Rhys almost giggles at the sight, he looks so… hot, but odd if he has to be honest). Lucien’s prosthetic eye doesn’t swivel up to meet his, instead staring blankly ahead. His legs are pulled up to his butt to let people pass on the sidewalk, and there is a small pile of coins next to him as if someone tossed him them because they thought he was homeless—which Rhys is pretty sure he’s not.

“Pardon?” Rhys says slowly.

“What have you never used a fucking lock before? Do you know how long I had to wait here, you ass? Tamlin’s already back at headquarters and I here I am waiting for you, you fucking moron-”

“I’m sorry, why are you insulting me?”

Lucien stares at him like he’s crazy. He points to the rack of bikes next to him. One of which is Rhysand’s. Normally Rhys doesn’t even own a bike but Elain made him start this ‘Go Green!’ initiative so to be a good leader he bought a bike and promised to bike to work every day for a month, which isn’t that hard since he lives in a penthouse about a mile from his company.

Today is the third day of Rhys’ promise. It is also the third day he’s ever used a bike lock.

“You locked my bike to yours, dumbass.” Lucien snarls. “I had to wait for you to get off for lunch because your secretary wouldn’t let me back up to make you unlock it yourself. And I can’t cut it open without a power tool because it’s _metal_.”

 _Fuck_.

“Well? Aren’t you going to at least apologize?” Lucien asks. He stands and even stomps his foot on the ground, which almost breaks Rhysand.

Rhysand swallows his laughter at the absurd situation. To laugh at Lucien would only make him angrier, and while Lucien is certainly cute while he was angry and fun to play with, Rhys senses now was _not_ the time.

“Jeez, dude.” Rhys says instead, unable to curb all of his laughter. “How long have you been sitting out here?”

“ _Open. Your. Lock._ ” Lucien snarls.

Rhys bends down to unlock the bike. “You know, I’m impressed that you biked here. I assumed you’d take Tamlin’s car.”

“I assumed you took a limo to work, we’re all wrong sometimes.” Lucien says without any cheer in his voice.

Rhys fiddles with the combination lock… what had he set it to, again? “‘Go Green!’ month. You?”

“I always bike if the meeting is under fifteen miles.”

Rhys’ eyes widened and whistled appreciatively. “Fifteen miles? And you always show up looking that good?”

“Well, we can’t all be as perfect as me. I’m sure if you tried to bike somewhere, you’d end up looking like a drowned rat.”

“Hey! I bike to and from my home!”

“And how far away is your home from here?”

Rhys turns around smirking. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Lucien rolls his eyes. “Are you done yet?”

“Ahh...” Rhys had been having so much fun sniping with Lucien he… may have… forgotten his seven digit code. “About that...”

Lucien’s eyes widen. “No. No no no _no no!_ You have _got_ to be fucking with me.”

Rhys laughs guiltily. “Believe me, that would be so much more fun than this.”

“Well? Who _else_ knows the code, you utter dipshit?” Lucien snarls.

“Uhhh-” Rhysand’s mind was mysteriously blank.

“You _jackass_.”

“It’s not like I did this on _purpose_!”

“I don’t really care about anything you have to say right now unless it’s the code to that lock!”

Rhys sighs and looks at his watch. As much fun as it is to play with Lucien, he has a meeting with Thesan in five minutes in a place that can only be reached that quickly in a car at this moment.

“Look, I have to go to lunch. Why don’t you come with me and afterwards I’ll-?”

“You _really_ think that now is the best time to ask me to lunch?” Lucien snapped.

“I have a meeting.” Rhys explains impatiently. “Come with me and if I remember the code, when it’s over and we come back I’ll give it to you.”

“No. _You_ can go to your fun little meeting after we deal with this. _I_ will go down with you _right now_ , to the maintenance department and get a power-saw or something of some kind and we will come back and cut through that lock.”

“You can’t do that!”

Lucien crosses his arms, glaring. “Go ahead. Do it. Tell me why not.”

“It’s an expensive lock!”

“An. Expensive. Lock.”

“Yeah! It was like a whole, eighty seven dollars!”

“Eight seven dollars? If you paid _eighty-seven_ dollars for that crap, then you’ve got bigger problems than me, Rhys.”

“It was for charity.” Rhys snaps.

“Besides, that’s petty change for you.”

“It’s the principle!”

“Rhys, we are going down to maintenance, together, _right now_. And you will ask for the power-tool yourself. Then you will cut off the lock, or I will go to every tabloid with a following and give them a special exclusive about the time that Rhysand Fitznox invited me to lunch after locking my bike with his.”

Rhys narrows his eyes. “So?”

“There will be many other details in this story, ones that may not have actually happened. Who’s to say?”

As much as Rhys wasn’t afraid of Lucien Vanserra… he was, well, a tiny bit afraid of Lucien Vanserra (the man had brought down entire companies with five well placed words to the press), he doesn’t want to make an enemy of him.

“You _suck_.” Rhys mumbles.

“Don’t you wish.” Lucien replies, and waves a hand for Rhys to lead the way.

Rhys grumbles, but does.

Lucien follows Rhys into his building. Rhys walks up to the front desk where Cerridwen and Nuala sit expertly answering phones. Nuala puts the person she’s talking to on hold and looks up expectantly at her boss. “Yes, Sir?”

“Um...” _Now this is_ _embarrassing_ _,_ Rhysand thinks. He glances at Lucien whose stormy gaze tells him to turn around and start talking. “So… I may have accidentally chained my bike to Lucien’s here...”

Nuala’s face stays completely the same, though Rhysand knows she’s laughing on the inside. Cerridwen stops in her work to listen in, amused by the story already. “And… I forgot the passcode...”

“Do you want me to open it, sir?”

Rhys looks at her surprised. “You know my passcode?”

“You know his passcode and you didn’t tell me?” Lucien cries. “I’ve been sitting there for ages! You _knew_ I was sitting there for ages!”

“I don’t know it, but Mr. Fitznox-Ah, your brother, sir, does.”

Rhys slams the heel of his palm into his forehead. “Az! Of course he does!”

Lucien is turning a delightful shade of purple, and Rhys wonders if this is the first time he’ll actually be able to see smoke come out of someone’s ears for real, just like they do in the cartoons.

Lucien is not very amused by the expression on Rhys’ face right now.

“Rhys, I’ll have your head on a platter. Then, I’m coming for you because you’ve been no help,” He says pointing a long delicate finger at Nuala, “and you’ll get your own for laughing at this,” he says as that finger finds it’s way to point at Cerridwen who is badly hiding her snickers into the telephone in her hand. “And finally, I’ll get Azriel Fitznox, just for the fun of it.”

Lucien snatches the phone and receiver from Nuala’s hand and speed-dials Azriel (whose speed-dial button has a label on it). He explains in clipped sentences the situation to Azriel and Rhys puts in his own two cents by graciously ‘ordering’ (he can’t really order his brothers to do anything for him if he’s being honest) Az to come down to the ground floor immediately and fix this.

* * *

When Azriel Fitznox gets the very angry call from the secretary desk with Lucien Vanserra on the other side of the line he thinks he’s having some weird fever dream or nightmare. But no, Lucien Vanserra, the CFO of Spring Court & Co really is on his phone angrily yelling about… a bike lock? And Rhysand having the memory of an eighty year old Alzheimer's patient or something…? Azriel isn’t exactly sure.

But he _is_ trying very hard not to laugh.

Lucien seems very serious though and when Rhys puts in “Yeah… you’d better get down here now with my code,” Azriel sighs and tells his brother that he’ll be right down.

He walks down to the ground floor and finds Lucien tapping his foot angrily and Rhys standing next to him very sheepishly. “What did you do?” Azriel asks Rhys mockingly. Rhys flashes him a smirk but Lucien is not amused.

“Do you have the password or not?” Lucien snaps.

Azriel nods and he walks past Lucien, glad the CFO can’t see how he can’t hold it together. Azriel walks out to the bike rack and bends down next to his brother’s bike. He moves the nine digit tumblers into place. “It’s the date and time you beat Spring Co out for the Summer contracts, don’t you remember that?” Az asks his brother.

Rhys face-palms. “Of course! How could I forget?”

This does not make Lucien any happier apparently. Azriel unravels the lock from around Lucien’s bike and he grabs it from the rack, shaking it roughly. “I hate you people and I am bringing all of you down with me.” He snarls at them. He swings one leg over the bike and speeds into the street and off to Spring Court & Co buildings.

“Nice doing business with you!” Rhys calls after his red-headed rival. Then, Azriel and Rhysand exchange glances at one another and promptly burst into the laughter that they’ve been holding in during this whole ordeal.

* * *

Rhysand walks into his meeting room to find his closest confidants hysterically rolling about. “Oh?” Rhys asks, an eyebrow raised. “What’s so funny?”

Cassian points to the tabloids fanned out on the table. Rhys pulled the magazines over to him, reading the headlines, beginning to laugh himself until he found himself crying.

_**CFO LUCIEN VANSERRA OPENS UP ON THE INNER WORKINGS OF NIGHT COURT INCORPORATED; “RHYSAND IS PETTY AND CAN’T REMEMBER FOR SHIT AND I’VE GOT THE STORY TO PROVE IT.”** _


	2. War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess im writing more of this au now???? anyway stop me before i sin again

It's been a week. A week of forgetful Rhysand jokes from his family. A week of tabloids hounding him for a response. A week. 

And for a week, nothing from Lucien Vanserra, until today. Because today Lucien Vanserra is back in negotiations with Mor. 

And unfortunately for Rhysand, his month of 'Go Green!' Is still in effect. 

Rhysand thinks it'll be a nice idea to go out for lunch. Grab food at the deli he likes to much, eat in the park, bike around a little. Nothing too inflamatory he likes to think. Nothing too inflamatory at all. 

But this is Rhysand Fitznox, and sometimes hr just can't help inflaming. 

And, to be quite frank, this situation is entirely Lucien Vanserra's fault, not Rhysand's at all. Because, when Rhysand walks downstairs to the bike rack which he's used for its proper purpose he notices something. The metal Cauldron combination lock which is looped through his bike's front tire and another. Another which looks distinctly familiar. 

Rhysand turns on his heel and strides back into the building. He beelines for the elevator, ignoring the confused looks from his secretaries, and heads for the conference room. 

To be fair, he isn't even remotely elegant or suave when he bursts in. Mor and the bastard Tamlin both look at him puzzledly, but he can see the smirk that flickers onto Lucien's lips. 

"You ass!" Rhys snarls. "Oh you think you're sooooo funny, don't you?"

Lucien raised an eyebrow and points to himself innocently. Today his hair is braided around his head into a crown and he wears a chic floral-print suit to go with it. "Moi?"

Rhys narrows his eyes at the man and calms himself. He stands up and straightens his suit lapels. "Fine." He says simply. If Lucien wanted to play it that way, that's the game they would play. 

Rhys strode downstairs and waited at the reception desk for Nuala to finish her call. She put down the reciever and glanced up at him. "Yes, sir?"

"Nuala, get me a blanket and a tea set. Send it out to me."

To her credit, Nuala didn't bat an eye. "Yes, sir." 

* * *

Lucien doesn't really know what to expect when he and Tamlin walk outside the Night offices. Tamlin is extremely confused by what happened during the meeting and unfortunately, Lucien can't really say he had nothing to do with it. So, Lucien shortly explained what exactly he'd done and Tamlin laughed so hard he almost peed himself and gave Lucien the rest of the afternoon off. 

They come to be outside the building and Tamlin bursts out laughing and crosses the sidewalk, leaving Lucien to deal with Rhysand. He waves to Lucien and gets into his car, and speeds off. 

Lucien crosses his arms over his chest and glances down at Rhys. 

Rhys lifts his china teacup to Lucien in a salute. "Care to join me?" He asks. 

Rhys is seated on a fuzzy blanket, a tea set set out in front of him right where Lucien had been not two weeks beforehand. He sips his tea from his cup, pinky raised while he paws through a stack of magazines seated next to him.

Lucien bites his lower lip to hold back the laughter. 

"It's quite comfortable, I know you were out here all alone last time and everything but, see, I like to drink tea with company."

"I'd love to, but I actually have a meeting to get to, we'll have to postpone."

"I see." Rhys says. He closes his magazine and leans back against a telephone pole behind him. He waves to the bikes. "Disappointing, but I'll hold you to that."

Lucien smirks, shaking his head. "See, I would but..." Lucien shrugs. He turns next to the bikes and leans down--to another bike. 

Rhys' eyes narrow. 

"-I _have_ a ride out of here." 

Lucien pulls a key out from his pocket, unlocks the another bike on the rack, salutes Rhys and speeds away.

"Okay, Lucien Vanserra," Rhys says as he watches the other man go, "so that's how it's going to be, then that's how it's going to be."

* * *

  
"Hey, Lucien." Alis hums as Lucien walks into Spring & Co with coffees. "How was your afternoon off?"

"Just what I needed, thank you Alis." He passes her usual to her and sips his own. 

"You've seen the tabloids, I assume?"

"In fact, I've been blissfully ignoring them. Why?"

Alis slides one his way. 

**"THIS MEANS WAR!" LUCIEN VANSERRA BETTER WATCH OUT, RHYSAND TELLS ALL.**

"Fine," Lucien says, he honestly doesn't know what he expected, "if he wants war, it's war he'll get." And Lucien Vanserra goes to his office to plan. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr @bastardsonofday!


End file.
